


I'm Sorry, it Won't Happen Again

by azalea_blood



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abusive Lotor, Abusive Relationships, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Burns, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Endgame Keith/Lance, Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), F/M, Fire, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance and Lotor used to date, Langst, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Pining Keith (Voltron), Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12429603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azalea_blood/pseuds/azalea_blood
Summary: The last thing Lance needs is a reminder of his abusive asshole of an ex-boyfriend, Lotor. But that's exactly what fate (and Shiro) gives him. Keith has the same long hair, purple eyes, and tendency of seeming to care only to snap at Lance. He wants to stay as far away from this boy and his past as humanly possible, but that's just not good enough for Keith.





	1. 16 Just Held Such Better Days

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I'm just gonna leave this here... anyway the posting will try to be weekly on Fridays at 3:00, keyword TRY. Yeah sorry motivation is not my thing. Enjoy all of the Langst to come.

The phone besides Lance's hand dinged softly, and he moved to pick it up.

The text from Shiro read:  **Hey Lance, the gang is having a get together in an hour for a movie and pizza, want to come?**

Quickly typing out an affirmative, Lance dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He let the chilly water stream down his back, lathering his hair with shampoo and scrubbing his scalp. He stepped out of the shower and dried off, staring at the pink veins of scar tissue that wound their way up his legs and lower arms. Surgery and time had faded what had once been horrible burns, but they still stood out, ugly and red against his tan skin. Shaking his head, Lance put on pants, a shirt, and his signature jacket, hopping into his car and heading for Shiro's.

Lance rang the doorbell of Shiro's apartment and was greeted at the door not by Shiro or one of their friends, but a stranger. He had long, shoulder length black hair that sent a shudder of displeasure through Lance's body. He was leaning on the doorframe, the cold look in his eyes - his purple eyes that made Lance want to vomit - were awfully familiar to Lance. All he had to do was make the guy taller and change his hair color to silver, and he would be -- Lance cut himself off at that thought. No need to reopen old wounds, right?

"Umm... and you are?" The boy narrowed his eyes at Lance.

"Lance. I-is Shiro here?" Lance asked, avoiding eye contact. The boy moved back with a nod and Lance stepped onto the threshold, ducking to avoid the other's scrutinous gaze. Gathered in the kitchen was Hunk, Lance's best friend and roommate at their college. Hunk and Lance had many of the same classes, and the two had met when Lance had tripped on his way to his seat and fallen onto Hunk's lap. Next to him, the twins of terror, Matt and Pidge, were chatting with Allura, Shiro's boyfriend. Matt and Pidge weren't actually twins, but they looked so much alike and were renowned around campus for their practical jokes, hence the name. Behind them, rummaging around in the fridge, was Shiro.

Shiro had been Lance's tutor at university when he had been out for a couple of months. That man had helped him pass his exams, and then some. Pretty soon, he had become his friend and the gang had formed. Now, half a year later, they were almost always hanging out, and knew each other better than themselves. Lance made his way to Shiro, stopping briefly to greet his friends and chat a bit. Upon reaching him, he glanced back at the raven-haired boy who looked vaguely annoyed with all of the people here.

"Shiro, who's that guy over in the corner?" He hissed, grabbing Shiro's jacket. Shiro stopped rummaging in the fridge and turned to face Lance. "Oh, that's my brother, Keith. He's going to be living here for a while since he got kicked out of his old apartment. Why do you ask?"

"Oh. No reason, I was just wondering. Th-thanks, Shiro." Lance forced a smile and internally cursed his luck.  _ Why does the world fucking hate me?  _ he thought.  _ Literally the one thing I ask for is NOT to be reminded of… him, and I get this fucking replica. Pidge was right - the world is a bitch. _

“Lance. What’s wrong?” Shiro frowned, enacting what Lance had dubbed “Dad Mode”.

“It’s nothing.” Lance hesitated. “Okay, maybe it is something. He just… the long hair and his... eyes. Shiro, his eyes are purple. Purple - like  _ his _ .” Lance rushed the last sentence, pushing his hair back in frustration.

Shiro’s brow furrowed, then cleared as understanding and empathy dawned on him. “Oh god Lance. I’m so sorry I didn’t even think about him - you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. We would understand.”

“No, Shiro, it’s fine. I should start moving on, right? It was six months ago. Plus, I wouldn’t miss a chance to see you guys for the world.” Shiro hesitated, still looking guilty, but nodded. Turning, Lance went to grab a drink from the cooler across the room.

  
  


Keith stared at the boy with pretty blue eyes across the room from him. He couldn’t forget the boy’s - he had called himself Lance - reaction to seeing him. His eyes had widened and he had hunched, as if trying to seem smaller. Keith knew that reaction he had seen it many times in his life - it was fear. Lance was frightened by him.

Lance broke away from his conversation and made his way to the cooler. Maybe Keith should go talk to him. Make sure Lance knew he wasn’t someone to be afraid of. Before the sensible part of his brain could tell him not to, Keith was already striding towards Lance.

“Lance, right? I’m Keith.” Lance looked at his outstretched hand, before looking back at him, and cautiously accepted his hand. “I’m Shiro’s little brother. I’ll be staying here for a while.”

“Yeah,” Lance said, and his voice was soft and sweet like honey and Keith found himself wondering if he sang-  _ No, stop it my stupid gay ass.  _ “Shiro mentioned it. I go to Northeastern with him.” He turned as if to escape, and Keith felt that damn gay side of him desperate for Lance to pay attention to him.

“Oh? Northeastern? That’s cool. What’s your major?” Keith asked, trying to keep Lance talking to him.

“Uhh… I’m majoring in marine biology with a minor in naval architecture. Oh, sorry, Pidge is waving at me, I’ve got to go say hi.” And with that, he slipped away towards his friends, leaving Keith to wonder what had gone wrong.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

_ Lance awoke to a crash coming from his kitchen. He slipped out of bed and padded down the hallway, the strong scent of sulfur wafting from down the short hall. Blearily, he stumbled into the open kitchen only to see Lotor, standing in front of the stove. _

_ “Lotor what the fuck are you doing here?” He asked, body rigid with fear. _

_ “I came to see you, Lance. Aren’t I allowed to miss my boyfriend?” Lotor smiled,his voice sickly sweet. _

_ “Lotor, I am not your boyfriend anymore. If you don’t leave now I’ll - what are you doing?” Lance broke off upon seeing the empty gasoline cans behind Lotor, and then he noticed that the his stove was emitting gas with a high pitched hiss. _

_ “Lance, sweetheart, you made me very upset when you decided to leave. You should have known better than that - now I have to punish you.” He stepped away from the gasoline, backing toward the door behind him. Lance felt relief with every step he took toward the door.  _ Maybe he isn’t going to hurt me. Maybe he just wanted to show he could.  _ He thought desperately, but was immediately proven wrong when Lotor stepped out of the apartment, but only after lighting a match and dropping on the carpet. _

_ Lance watched in numb silence as the gasoline soaked carpet caught fire with immense speed, trailing in a path towards Lance. It was unreal, like something that would happen in a Hollywood movie - that was, until the fire reached Lance, and he felt the heat through his pajamas, felt the fire touch his bare feet, and screamed. Then the gas that had filled the condo caught fire, and the explosion sent Lance crashing to the ground. _

_ Smoke began to fill the room, and he stumbled back to his room, in an effort to reach the door. There was something warm dripping down the sides of his head and there was a loud ringing in his ears. Reaching up to his ears, he brought his hands back to his face and his stomach jerked at the sight to blood on his fingers. _

_ He twisted the handle of the door, panic lacing his mind when it wouldn’t budge. Lotor had jammed it from the outside. Lance needed to find his phone and call the police, or at the very least get away from this pain licking at Lance’s body. _

_ The whole room had been covered in gasoline. Lotor had been… thorough. A burning chunk of ceiling fell in front of the hallway with a resounding crash, blocking his way back to his room. It was hard to breathe, the smoke clawing at his lungs, and Lance fell into a coughing fit. His only option was shouting until the neighbors of his condo heard him. _

_ Taking a deep breath, Lance was immediately awarded by a sharp stab of pain in his chest, and he gasped for breath. In the adrenaline rush, Lance grabbed a nearby burning chair and chucked it at the window. The thud that followed and the hopelessness of the situation clutched at Lance. He cried out for help, his delirious mind switching to his native language, spanish. In the distance, a high pitched whining filled his ears, but the pain from the burns now covering his arms and legs combined with the lack of oxygen in the room caused Lance to tumble forward onto the couch before he could figure out what it was. _

 

Lance gasped, clutching his chest as he tried to breathe past the coughing fit. He was in bed, in the apartment he had moved to after his old condominium had burned down. It had just been another nightmare. He heaved himself out of bed, his legs and arms twinging with the memory of old scars. He turned on the lamp on his bedside table before he stood up. Lance knew from experience that there was no going back to sleep after a nightmare like this one, so he headed down to the small living room.

He made himself a cup of coffee, fingers trembling as he gripped the hot mug. Sitting on the couch, he pulled out his phone, which never left his pocket or hands now. He lightly tapped the power button, and the lock screen came on, a picture of him surrounded by his friends, all smiling with joy.

He thought back to what had happened after the fire, waking up in a hospital with his friends sitting around him, concern written on their faces.

_ “What… what happened?” Lance choked out, his voice raspy and his throat feeling as though it had been ripped to shreds. _

_ “Lance, your… your apartment caught on fire. You were unconscious when they found you.” Hunk said softly, a pained look on his usually calm expression. _

_ Lance gripped his head as a flash of fire and pain shot through his head. He immediately regretted that when he looked at his arms, covered in bandages up to his elbows. Surprisingly he couldn’t feel the pain. He couldn’t feel his arms at all… or his legs or torso. _

_ “Guys? Just how much painkillers am I on? And… how bad am I?” He whimpered, wincing at the sudden urge to cough. _

_ “Enough to kill a horse, Lance.” Pidge looked close to tears. “And… they say your arms should recover… but your legs might never work the same again. Oh God, Lance. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” A tear dripped down her face, and Lance felt his stomach drop into his numb feet at her words. _

_ A doctor entered the room, wearing a morose expression. "Lance. Good to see you awake. I assume your friends have already told you about your current condition. I'm afraid I have other news. Is it alright if we talk for a second?" Lance just looked at him, dread clenching his gut. His friends stood to go, but the doctor stopped them with a wave of his hand. _

_ "They can stay, if you want them to." Lance nodded quickly, flinching when his brain rattled around his skull. The doctor sat down in the remaining chair next to Lance's bed. _

_ "As you know, your hands will have residual scar tissue, but should regain motor function within a few months with physical therapy. But your legs, on the other hand... they fared much worse than you arms. You might be able to walk again with some difficulty, but most likely you will never regain full control at all." Lance looked down at that last statement, tears forming in his eyes with the unfairness of it all. _

_ The doctor took another breath, and began again. "Also, forensic scientists found traces of gasoline on parts of your old home. It was no accident. The police want to ask you a few questions, but they're willing to give you time if I ask you now. Do you know who could have done this?" At that, Lance looked away, before whispering that final word. _

_ Judging from the look on his friends' faces, they already knew. But Lance had to say it - to tell them who was behind this misery. _

_ "Lotor." _


	2. What the Hell is Wrong with You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith tries to get Lance's attention, and gets a little frustrated when Lance ignores him. Maybe not the best idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so i actually missed like four deadlines, so here's my apology for that. i tried to make it fairly long, but since i have a World Civ project that's been taking up all of my time, i can't guarantee that this will be that satisfying. im typing all of this in the car, so excuse any typos, also im like dead tired but also had at least 3 mountain dews (i stopped counting) so i think im going to have a seizure but its like fine

Rising from bed, Lance sleepily stretched and made his way into the kitchen. He grabbed a box of cereal from the counter and poured himself a bowl. He opened the fridge and grabbed the nearly empty gallon of milk, he glanced at the rest of the fridge mentally groaning at the lack of food. Tiredly adding in milk, the young boy opened the drawer and pulled out a spoon, rising the breakfast to his mouth in an almost mechanical motion. Sleep tried to overtake him once more and his eyes threatened to slip closed, but Lance forced his eyes open and continued to eat. He hadn't gotten very much sleep last night; he didn't get much sleep most nights, so it didn't really matter.

His phone pinged, and he picked it up, checking the time while he was staring at the screen. 4:37 am. His phone pinged again, and the text from Pidge read:  **U up?**

AmBIlance:  **Yes, gremlin, I'm up. What is it now?**

Pidgeon:  **There's no food in ur fridge. Dont ask me how I know that, you wont like the answer.**

Pidgeon:  **Anyway, come with us to the mall. Shiro cant sleep either, so we're going out and i knew youd like to go. We're outside your apartment, by the way.** **  
**

Lance stood bolt upright at that last comment, flinging himself toward the open window, and glance outside. The street was still dark, only lit by the lamppost on the corner, and underneath it, Shiro's black Chevy was parked. Hollering curses at them in both English and Spanish, Lance sprinted into his room and struggled to put on some jeans and a tee shirt. He grabbed his jacket hanging from the wall, and a small bag sitting on the bench by the entryway.

Making it to the car, he leaned against it, gasping and heaving for a good minute, trying desperately to catch his breath and failing miserably. His lungs twitched and spasmed with the effort of getting oxygen into his body, and he coughed roughly, his body still trying to clear out non-existent smoke.

Yeah, Lance had asthma.  _Just another fun side effect of being trapped in a burning apartment by your psycho ex,_ he thought sarcastically.

"Lance, you know you didn't have to sprint all the way down the stairs. We were going to wait." Hunk called from inside the car. Ignoring him, Lance hopped into the car and pulled out his inhaler, taking a quick puff. His friends all knew that he had... issues from his time with Lotor, and despite being embarrassed about his asthma, his friends insisted he use it and be embarrassed, rather than suffer.

"You have asthma?" A new voice said from next to Lance, and he twisted around, coming face-to-face with Keith.

"I... uh... yes?" He squeaked out, his heart suddenly racing. Of course Keith was still here. Of course they would take him to their 4 am excursions when no one could sleep. (Well, Hunk could, but he loved the gang and came with them anyway.) Shiro had PTSD from his time overseas in the navy, Pidge had insomnia, and Lance had... well let's just say Lance had a lot of issues. And then there was Keith, who was staring at him with such an intensity that Lance wanted to beg for mercy, to plead for Lotor to stop- okay, that was just going to give him a panic attack. No more of those thoughts.

Shiro glanced back at them from the rearview mirror. "I brought Keith along, if that's alright. He needed new parts for his bike, so I said he could come. I'm sure-"

"No, no Shiro, it's fine! Of course it's fine, why wouldn't it be? Well, I didn't really want to be seen with someone with a mullet today, but I can let it slide." Lance hoped that that laugh didn't sound as fake and high-pitched as he thought it did. Well, clearly it did, judging from their worried expressions. Shiro, still suspiciously looking at Lance, started car and drove away from his apartment toward the mall.

Lance settled into his seat, leaning into the protective warmth of Hunk. Hunk always managed to calm his nerves. He had been there for Lance since they were just kids, playing in the sandbox at Lance's house. He had been there for Lance even after Lance pushed him and Pidge away, calling him to make sure he was okay, and immediately forgiving Lance and comforting him when he learned about Lotor's cruelty. Hunk managed to soothe Lance after countless panic attacks, always a calm and steady rock, if usually only when Lance needed him to be one. Everyone in their group was pretty fucked up, really.

 

\------------- 

 

Lance rubbed his face against the nearest pair of pajama bottoms, blue fuzzy ones hanging on the rack. "Oh my God, Pidge check these out." Pidge, still on her phone, turned around and felt the pajamas.

"Oh shit, you're right; this really is fucking soft." Pidge muttered, rubbing it with her free hand.

"What's 'so fucking soft?'" Keith asked, coming up behind Pidge. She shoved the pajama bottoms in his face, and he touched it, eyes widening at the realization of the delicious texture, and rubbed his hand over the fuzzy material.

_"Lance, baby. Your skin is already plenty soft. Let's just go already." Lotor's rich voice, like cream and silk and liquid silver, wafted through the door as Lance sat with his back to the door._

_"Lotor, just one more minute. You know you love it when my legs are nice and moisturized. They need to be sooo fucking soft for you, my Prince." He murmured sensually through the door, the words and tone contrasting harshly with his racing heart and tearful eyes. Blood rolled down his arm from the multiple ragged slices in his flesh, clearly made from a knife._

_"Baby, is this about the punishment earlier? You know I only hurt you because I love you. You need it. You would be a mess without me. No one would ever love you. Not like I do." Lotor purred, and Lance shivered at the words. He was right. Lance deserved it every time Lotor hurt him. If only he was- no. Lotor wasn't good for him. He hurt Lance because it made him feel powerful, not because he loved his boyfriend. Lotor was abusive - wasn't he? Weren't normal boyfriends supposed to be kind and caring, and not hurt their significant other?_ But Lotor does care, _his mind argued back. No._  No. _He couldn't let Lotor touch him again._

_With trembling fingers, Lance picked up his cell phone and dialed. "911, what's your emergency?" A smooth feminine voice asked._

_"It's my boyfriend." Lance whispered, hoping against hope that Lotor wouldn't hear this. "He... he hurts me."_

"Lance? You okay?" Pidge asked, gently touching his arm, hoping he wouldn't have a panic attack right here in the mall.

Lance snapped out of the trauma-induced flashback, noting Pidge's concerned face and Keith's alarmed one right in front of him. "Yeah, I'm fine! Just spaced out is all!" He grinned weakly, waving off his friend's worry. "I, uh... I've got to... meet up with Hunk! Yeah, that's it. I told him I'd find him. See ya!" He turned and practically sprinted out of the store.

He didn't stop until he reached a fountain in the middle of the mall. Sinking gratefully into a bench, Lance groaned and rubbed his forehead. He always got headaches after those stupid flashbacks. _'It's just your mind dealing with the trauma', my ass,_ he thought, burying his head in his hands.

"Dude, what the fuck?" A deadly voice asked, and Lance removed his hands from his eyes to see Keith standing there, looking pissed. "I come looking for you because you disappear with some shit excuse, and you're not even NEAR Hunk! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you lying? Aren't they your friends?" Keith spat venomously.

_"I come looking for you because you weren't hurrying up with your fucking legs, and you've called the police? What the hell is wrong with you!?" Lotor spat out, having forced open the door Lance was taking refuge behind. He grabbed Lance's phone, still on call with the police, and hurled it as hard as he could at Lance's head._

"I... uh, Keith..." Lance whispered, leaning back unconsciously to get as far away from the angry boy as possible, whose face was flickering between the real one and the one his brain conjured images of when he was upset.

"And what about this, huh? Every time I even look at you, you act like I'm going to bite your head off! I've been trying to have a full conversation with you for ages, and you always ignore me, asshole! It's not like I'm going to kill you!" Keith was almost shouting now, impossibly angry.

_"I'm going to kill you!" Lotor snarled, reaching his hands out to wrap around Lance's neck, the ability to breathe suddenly gone._

Every fiber in Lance's being trembled, and he realized he was hyperventilating. Whatever. Too late now. Unfortunately, hyperventilating with asthma is almost never a good idea, as shown by Lance's sudden coughing fit, as he doubled over, gasping for breath. Tears streamed from his eyes as his lungs screamed for oxygen he just couldn't seem to get. Keith was so full of pent up frustration from the week and a half of tiptoeing around Lance, of never getting a full explanation of why Shiro and his brother's friends were so cautious around this blithering idiot, that he didn't notice that the boy was coughing and wheezing. Keith had never been good at controlling his temper, and whenever he did get angry, it was so angry he couldn't control what he was doing or saying anymore. What he did notice in this rage-induced state, was that Lance wasn't answering his question, and his mind assumed them worst; that Lance wouldn't answer him because he thought Keith really was going to hurt him, that Keith was a threat to him.

He drew back his fist, still snarling in rage, and swung it towards Lance, when he was interrupted by screaming. Confused, he looked for the source of the sound, only to realize it was coming from Lance. Lance, who was now struggling and crying, jerking away from Keith in a desperate attempt to remove the handful of his shirt from Keith's grip. Keith stepped backwards, letting go of Lance, you was curled in a ball, sobbing into his knees on the bench.

A hand grabbed him from behind, and Keith was spun around, coming face to face with Shiro. "What. The fuck. Did you do." Shiro growled out, clearly furious. Hunk moved to Lance's side, and pulled him into a sitting position, touching his knee and whispering something to him.

"I... I-I got so angry, Shiro. I yelled at him, and I... oh my god I tried to punch him." Keith was crying now, too, guilt swarming over him as he recalled his actions just a few moments ago. Shiro swore and pulled at the lock of white hair on the center of his forehead. Pidge came running towards the fountain, towards the strange group that had attracted many stares of the 5 am shoppers from their shouting and crying.

"Shit, I'm so sorry Shiro, I turned around and Keith was gone. Is Lance-" She cut herself off as she caught sight of her older friend, still crying and shaking, but his breathing was getting steadier with the help of Hunk. She looked at Keith, and the guilt and confusion evident on his face, and the anger on Shiro's, and knew Shiro would be mad at Keith, but Shiro had always been protective of Lance, of any of them, when something like this happened.

"Keith, come talk a walk with me. Shiro, see if Lance needs anything - but calm down before you do, okay?" She gave him her best smile, and grabbed Keith's arm and pulled him toward one of the stores. It was a shoe store, and Pidge turned to say something to Keith, but he broke the silence first.

"Oh, Pidge, oh my God, Pidge I'm so sorry I-I was just so mad, and oh my God this is all my fault." He whispered desperately, and she pulled him into a hug and released, gripping his arms to get his attention.

"Hey, I know you didn't mean it. Lance... gets like this sometimes. Sometimes it happens even if none of us are mad - it happens to all of us, okay? I've set Lance off multiple times. Do you know what I do after that?" Keith shook his head. "I give him space. And then I apologize, and I ask him if he can tell me what triggered him. Sometimes he can talk about it, sometimes he can't and that's okay. He forgives me, and I try to avoid saying something like that again." She looked him in the eyes, despite being almost a head shorter than him. "Yeah, you screwed up. Big time. But we all do. That's what makes us human. But trying not to repeat those mistakes, that's what makes us human, too."

"Wow," Keith sniffled, trying to smile. "You're good at speeches."

"Not really," she shrugged. "That was a compilation of separate sentences told to me by a combination of my dad, Shiro, and Matt. It's like... the ultimate Dad Friend™ speech."

Keith chuckled, wiping his tears on his sleeve. "A-aren't you mad at me? Everyone else is."

Pidge shrugged again. "A bit, but hey, you didn't know the whole... situation. And yeah, they're pissed, but only because Shiro promised Lance he wouldn't let this happen again. Hunk, well, I think there's a bit of anger at himself there too, because he didn't really notice what was going on when this first started. Besides, all of us have set Lance off at one point or another, even Hunk, and he's Lance's best friend. So yeah. We're ticked off. But we aren't going to hold this against you, dude. And I'm sure Lance won't either."

A sudden realization, or lack thereof, dawned on Keith. Why had Lance just broken down like that? Hesitantly he asked Pidge, but she only shook her head.

"Sorry, Keith. That's not really my thing to say. That's for Lance to tell you if he feels comfortable enough. Which, no offence, but I kind of doubt he would. He doesn't talk about it. We only know because we knew him before, except for Shiro." Keith felt disappointed, but mostly just confused. What kind of thing had Lance gone through, that the kid who talked about everything under the sun wouldn't talk about it at all? Pidge just tapped him on the shoulder and walked back towards the fountain, saying something about them leaving as soon as Lance was okay.

Upon arriving at the fountain, Keith took in the scene, like some twisted Renaissance painting. Lance was holding his knees to his chest, taking breaths with his inhaler in time with Hunk's counting, who was kneeling in front of the bench. Shiro was alternating between smiling comfortingly at Lance and glaring at any passerby that took too long to look away. Keith reached them in time for him to hear Hunk ask if Lance was feeling alright, and Lance only nodded, but did nothing as Shiro picked him up bridal style and carried him out of the mall. The rest of the group followed quickly behind, ignoring the curious stares of nearby people.

Upon reaching the car, Keith goes to get in the back, but Hunk shakes his head quietly and gestures for him to get in the front. The car started and slowly pulled out of the parking lot, with Lance sandwiched between Pidge and Hunk, curled up into Hunk's shoulder. The ride was silent, a tense, uncomfortable silence, one Lance seemed oblivious to, and a glance in the rearview mirror proved that he was asleep. His eyes were closed and his breathing steady, but his face betrayed his discomfort, twisted into a grimace; he was dreaming - it was probably a nightmare.

_Hunk, Pidge, and Lance were leaning against the brick wall of the cafeteria, chatting about their classes and the workload. Lance could see his reflection in Pidge's oversized glasses. He looked terrible. There were deep bags under his eyes, and his face was pale, not to mention he looked like he'd lost a lot of weight. It was probably true; Lance had been trying to lose weight ever since Lotor told him he needed it. Lance wasn't sure whether to feel proud of the fact that he had managed it, or to feel disgusted that he had let himself fall so far. It didn't really matter, anyway. As long as Lotor was happy, Lance was okay._

_"Lance? What are you doing here? I thought I told you to wait in the car." Lotor's chilling voice rang out, and Lance froze._

_"Sorry, Lotor." He murmured, eyes cast on the ground. "I saw Pidge and Hunk and I wanted to say hello. We haven't talked in awhile, so..."  
_

_"Of course, baby." He purred, looping his arm around Lance's and pulling him away from his confused friends. "Say goodbye, Lance. We'll be having a talk about your behavior later, though." Those sentences were harshly whispered in Lance's ear, foretelling the pain and scars to come. Once they were safely in Lotor's shiny silver BMW, he grabbed Lance's arm and squeezed it painfully tight._

_"What," he snarled, "have I told you about hanging out with those two fucks? Not to do it, you stupid son of a bitch. I have put up with your bullshit for so long, Lance. The crying and stupid behaviors that make you such a loser. It's only because I took pity on you that you have any popularity at all. I love you, baby, and that's why you can't do stuff like that. I know seeing those nerds makes you feel good, just like eating, but it will make you uncool, just like eating will make you a fat ass. You can't do those things anymore, baby, it's for your own good." By the end of his speech he was curled around Lance, his face morphing into that of a demon's, with gaping black holes for eyes and a mouth that whispered the secrets of hell._

_The car around Lance spun, faster and faster and faster, the silver interior morphing into the steel gray of the floor of the police station, where Lance sat shivering and wrapped in a wool shock blanket. Voices washed over him, muted, like he was underwater. It was all so... unreal. The police had arrived when Lance called them to find Lotor burning Lance with a plugged in curling iron while Lance only whimpered, curled in a ball. Lotor had been arrested, Lance's mother had been called, who in turn called Hunk and Pidge, and all three of them had rushed over to the police station. The rest of the McClain family had wanted to come as well, but the police had advised against many people there, seeing as Lance was experiencing trauma. He had refused to go to the hospital for his burned arms, crying for his mother and friends, and eventually they had given in and let Rosa McClain treat his burns._

_After a few hours of psychiatric evaluations and witness testimonies against Lotor for court trials to come - which Lance choked out the bare minimum of details between pained sobs - Lance was allowed to go home, but only if someone stayed with him. Since no one was willing to leave, all three of them brought him to Lance's apartment, removing any items of Lotor's that were there. His mother had decided that a bath would make him feel better, like she used to do for him when he was little, but Lance didn't have enough energy to protest that he was too old for that. He just felt drained and numb. He was drained both physically - because he didn't have any energy from half starving himself to death, and emotionally from telling the police about the past year and a half of living under Lotor's thumb._

_Lance sat on the couch, wrapped in as many blankets as possible, with a bowl of hot soup in front of him and Disney movies playing on the TV. His mother, the sweet woman she was, was trying to get her son to put something in his stomach, but he wasn't hungry. In his doctor's appointment, a few weeks before he and Lotor ended, the doctor had told him that he was "dangerously close to anorexic". Lance was never hungry anymore. He guessed that when you stopped wanting to eat your body eventually got the message._

_"Lance?" Pidge asked, but her voice was all wrong. It was Shiro's voice coming out of her tiny mouth._

_"Is he okay?" Hunk worried, and this time Lance recognized Keith's voice coming out of his mouth. Another voice was calling him, this time it was Hunk's voice. He was calling his name, again and again, louder and..._

Lance shot bolt upright and sucked in a breath of air to scream, before he realized he was inside Shiro's car and afternoon light was streaming in through the windows. He relaxed slightly, still keyed up and trembling from the nightmare.  _What the fuck, body?_ he internally grumbled.  _The nightmare wasn't even scary at the end. I mean, the beginning was a little terrifying. And anything to do with Lotor is always a little frightening... but seriously? Trembling with fear?_

"Hey man, you alright?" Hunk asked, looking worried.

"Yeah, dude. Just peachy. Anyway, we almost home?" Lance shrugged, hoping to seem nonchalant. No one answered, and Lance squirmed uncomfortably. Keith and Hunk were still staring at him, and even though Pidge was still typing away, this time at her laptop that she had managed to procure from nowhere, he could tell she was watching him out of the corner of her eye too.

"You apartment is just around the corner, Lance." Shiro supplied helpfully from the front seat, probably hoping to stop the awkward conversation. Coasting to a stop, Hunk scooted backwards and let Lance out of the car. Keith was still turned around, staring at Lance. He still hadn't said anything.

"Thanks for the fun times, guys! See you in class!" Lance waved jovially, trotting up the stairs to his apartment. As soon as he closed the door to his apartment, Lance pressed his back against the door and sunk down to the floor. Releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, he wrapped his arms around his legs and just sat there for a minute, calming down his racing heart. Groaning, he pushed his head into his hands. He'd just had a full on panic-attack at a mall, for Christ's sake. That was humiliating. And Keith had seen it. Keith new he was... damaged goods. Wow, that was a degrading way to think about himself.

His pocket vibrated, and Lance was surprised to find a text from Shiro.

SpaceDad:  **Lance, are you sure you're okay to be alone right now? I could come over if you want and we could just hang out, just the two of us?**

AmBIlance:  **Yeah, Shiro. i'll be fine - i'm just gonna hang out for a little while, k?**

AmBIlance:  **Do you think u could stay over at my place tonite, tho? I don't really wanna sleep alone i guess**

SpaceDad:  **Of course, Lance. How about 8:30? and do you want to bring over anyone else? (no Keith, I promise).**

AmBIlance:  **8:30 is fine. could the whole gang come over? if they're free of course, i mean they probably have other stuff to do and if they dont want to come then they dont have to**

SpaceDad:  **Okay, I'll text the group chat. I'm sure they would love to come.**

Lance put down his phone, ignoring the new buzzes emanating from it, meaning Shiro was following through on his promise. Shiro was an amazing friend, honestly. Even though he was struggling with PTSD and anxiety from his time in the Marine Corps, he was always there when Lance needed a shoulder to cry on or just a friend to stay up with him when he was too afraid of nightmares to sleep. It was such a shame, really, that Shiro had never met the better version of him; he had only met Shiro at the end and in the aftermath of his relationship with Lotor.

Lotor hadn't liked that Lance would sit with Hunk and Pidge during classes he didn't have Lotor in, so Lance had stopped going. And even if he did show up, just to get out of the house, he had never managed to get homework done when Lotor wanted to play with him. Long story short, Lance had been failing almost all of his classes, and they had assigned him a private tutor, Shiro. Actually, Lotor hadn't liked that either, even if Shiro had been already in an exclusive relationship. As if his brain was an overeager puppy, it brought a memory of one of his tutoring sessions to the front of his mind.

_"Alright Lance, that's all we have time for today. I'm afraid that there isn't very much I can do, even with the tutoring, if you just don't do the work." Shiro sighed, a sympathetic frown on his face. "I know life is stressful, believe me I know, but you have to put in the effort."_

_Embarrassingly_ _enough, Lance felt his eyes well up with tears, as if his brain was preparing to feel pain. "Yeah, sorry, Shiro. I swear I'll try." He whispered, pulling his coat further down his arms, in a reflexive attempt to hide the bruises and scars. A knock sounded on the door to the study room, and Lance almost leaped out his skin, startled._

_"You coming, sugar? We're going to be late..." Lotor's voice sounded through the door, the pur matching his usual sweet outward persona._ If only covers were a good reflection of the books inside...  _Lance thought wistfully, smiling at his own attempt at humor._

_"Yes Lotor, you can come in, if you like." Lance responded, shoving items in his bag haphazardly in an effort to move faster and stay on his good side. The door swung open, and Lotor stepped in, a polite, if distant, smile on his face. He crossed the room quickly, introducing himself to Shiro with a handshake, name, and relation to Lance, as if it needed to be one of the first things Shiro knew, that Lance wasn't single. Shiro responded in kind, smiling equally as politely._

_A phone rang throughout the room, and Shiro rummaged through his bag to grab it. As soon as his back was turned, Lotor grabbed Lance's arm and pinched him hard enough to leave yet another bruise. Lance stood stock still, knowing that moving or making noise would just make it worse. Lotor hissed in his ear, voice a replica of a snakes', "If you're fucking that whore behind my back, I have every right to kill you, know that? My father would just cover the whole thing up, you know he would. He lays a hand on you, you're dead. I don't care if you don't reciprocate it, you're a dead man walking."_

_Lance only nodded, swallowing back his fear and grabbing the rest of his stuff. Finishing the call, Shiro turned back around to see only Lotor casually resting an arm on Lance, and Lance smiling, the only evidence of his discomfort that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and the trembling of his hands._

_Three weeks later, Lance came to their study with a black and blue bruise on his cheekbone. Claiming he hit his face on a telephone pole, they continued to work on studying for an upcoming bio test, until Lance passed a note to Shiro._

**Pretend you're reading the answer to a question.**

**I didn't hit a telephone pole, it was Lotor. Can I crash somewhere for a few days until he cools down? I promise this doesn't usually happen and I can't stay with my friends or parents. DO NOT say anything about it out loud. If I can, say I got the answer right. If I can't, say I got it wrong. I think he's bugged me.**

_Shiro had only stared at Lance in shock for a few seconds before he said slowly, "Yes, exactly right. Good job on this one, I know it's tough." The rest of the lesson continued as normal, except for the relieved smile on Lance's face, and the fact that he came home with him for the next couple of days. Shiro suspected that Lance wasn't telling the whole truth, and was hesitant to let him go back, but when Lotor showed up at Shiro's door with flowers and kisses and apologies, he didn't have a good reason to say no._

Lance's phone rang, and a new number popped up:

Unknown:  **Hey, Lance, it's Keith. I'm sorry about the mall today, I really didn't mean to hurt you or make you upset. (also I stole your number from Shiro, i swear im not a crazy stalker)**

AmBIlance:  **It's fine.**

KeithKogane:  **Are you sure?**

AmBIlance:  **Yeah, man. It's not you, it just happens no big deal.**

 

No big deal, right?


End file.
